I know what it’s like.
You’ve woken up, said your prayers, but now you are running late for work. You think about your spiritual meditation but “head” says you have no time for that, and will be late for work, so you skip it.
You rationalise that it’s okay - you will make up for it tomorrow, or perhaps sneak in a little one during your lunch hour. But it never happens and it’s yet another day of only doing half of your 11th Step.
Why do we find it so hard as Alcoholics, to practise this simple self-care? Why, when we know dam well it’s part of our AA Step 11, do we think we can ignore it and continue to recover from alcoholism?
As a recovering Alcoholic myself, I think the answer is pretty simple. I think it comes down to priorities. If we made meditation a priority in our life, we would do it. Simple as that. We know that we MUST pray every day, multiple times per day in order to stay connected to our Higher Power and so we do it. We just haven’t put meditation high on our priority list.
But I do believe that we are doing our recovery a huge disservice. With minds that yabber on constantly, busy with everything but the present moment, surely it would be radical self-care to engage in meditation at least once per day?
In the end, the way I started to prioritise and become more accountable, was to have a Step 11 buddy. When I had done my morning and evening Step 11, my buddy received a “done/done” via sms, and when I didn’t follow through, she didn’t receive it and both of us knew that I was letting my recovery slip. It’s amazing how much better I am at doing my Step 11 when I am accountable.
Without 11th step meditation in my day, my mind is far busier, more prone to reaction rather than pause, and I’m less able to hear my Higher Power’s will for me. Plenty of reason to make sure that it’s done every day.
I would love to hear about your experiences with meditation and how you stay current with your practice.
Blessings for another sober day,